Monday, November 8, 2010

The post with no title

I figure it has been nearly a week since my last blog, so it must be time to write another. But I am all out of ideas for what to write. So this is going to be a little bit of this and that :-)

A few weeks ago while in the turbulent midst of my thyroid-caused-anxiety-stress-mess (I'm hoping to be at the tail end of it now...) I discovered (with the help of my wonderful counsellor) that I am at a crossroads. I know that seems pretty obvious - you don't have mid life crisis' or bouts of nervousness when things are peachy.. Anyway, part of this *crossroad* is related to my christian beliefs (should that be a capital C???) and how seriously I take it.

Sure - I love God. I try to be a good christian and do the right things. But oh my how I fail. Not that I do anything about it other then hide those discrepancies away and pretend they don't exist.

Yeh, I am sure you can see where this is going...

Eventually my brain said enough. I am back on the antiD's and seeing a lovely lady who also loves God!

Aforementioned lady has helped me see some pretty big flaws in my methods and is challenging me to change. One of them being my wanting to be a godly woman and yet I only seem to cling to Him during the really difficult times (those I'd-rather-forget-they-happened bouts of depression) and when things are fine and dandy, well - there's church on Sunday... that's surely enough?!

From this I am hoping to learn my lesson.. (I REALLY don't want to have to cover this ground again) I prayed for inspiration for where to open my Bible and woke in the middle of that night with a need to read the Gospel of John. That was a couple of weeks ago now and I've been very slowly plodding my way through it. I don't want to miss anything.


I've really been enjoying it! I'm already excited to see where I am supposed to read next. Initially I was expecting some lightening bolt moment of epiphany to come from reading the Bible (and then I'd be healed) but the more I read, the more I am realising that just the act of reading my Bible and being open to the Holy Spirit is enough.

I wont say that I'm out of the woods completely in regards to my anxiety, but I am a whole lot closer than I was. And I really don't want to go back to being that person anyway - I am learning to love change and the exciting journey God is taking me on!


Swift Jan said...

Sounds wonderful!!

Maybe I should go see your lovely counsellor too!!! Or maybe I should just open up the Bible!

Evonne said...

so inspirational! praying for you :o)

Emily Sue said...

Good for you - keep going! The right counsellor makes all the difference... I reckon God is pretty good at pushing people into our path who can help, and who will work WITH him as he takes on our journey. You, God, your counsellor - sounds like a great team. :)

June F. said...

So glad you are feeling better and finding something that helps! :)

my3lovelies said...

LOL at Swift Jan....yep I need to open my Bible up too. Look forward to hearing your journey xo